Chapter Eight: The Loss of Self
Written by Ethan
The woman awoke to the sensation of thousands of minuscule creatures skittering atop her chest, subtle needle pricks of pain streaking across her flesh with every tiny step. She tried to swipe across her body to brush the pests off, but her limbs were firmly tethered in place, leaving her defenseless against the swarm.
Attempts to move her head were met with the same resistance, with strands of unknown material firmly locking her head and neck in place. She opened her eyes and tried to blink away her slumber, but she couldn’t adjust her line of sight to make out anything in her environment. There was just enough space in front of her face to allow her to take a few deep breaths, but her vision was completely obscured, with only a bit of light making its way in from outside her container. She writhed, trying to free her body once more, but it was no use. She was trapped.
Her mind felt like a wheel spinning in place, simultaneously racing and going nowhere. She had no recollection of who she was, where she’d been, or how she’d ended up in this strange confinement. Panic began to overtake her mind, her breathing growing shallow and heart starting to race. She felt a tightness in her chest, an ache reminiscent of an injury that has healed but never fully disappears.
As if aware of her awakening, the creatures stopped in unison and crawled off the woman’s body, disappearing into tiny channels in the foam that surrounded her. The foam itself then began to slowly soften and contract upwards, allowing her to free her head and limbs enough to bring herself to a sitting position and finally see her surroundings. As it retracted, she saw that her entire body had been encased in a thick substance that resembled sea foam, but had held like paste. Seeing it, she instinctively went to wipe off her face with her right hand, but the arm simply wasn’t there.
She looked down and examined where the limb should be: There was a clear ridge around the perimeter of the shoulder, and emerging from it was what appeared to be the beginnings of a new appendage, extending out and coming to a tapered, cone-shaped tip just above where her elbow would be. There were small nubbins sticking out from its end; she wondered if eventually they would be fingers.
Her head craned up to her surroundings. The chamber she was confined in looked like a mollusk shell, semi-translucent and smooth to the touch. Above and below her were two small openings like mouths that pulsated rhythmically, withdrawing the frothy matter with each beat.
The concameration began to vibrate as the foam receded completely. She felt something above her shift, and then the entire cell moved downwards. Another shift and the walls of the cell retracted upwards, expelling her onto the soft ground below like an egg into the straw of a henhouse.
The woman sat for a moment, letting her vision adapt to the low, yellow-hued light of the cavern she now found herself in. With more light, she could see that her entire body was wrapped in rust-covered bandages from head to toe. She touched the wrapping that enclosed the stump of her missing arm, recoiling when she discovered that they weren’t made of cloth but of an organic material like squid flesh. She tried to pull them away, but each attempt was met with a stinging sensation that grew increasingly unpleasant as she applied more force. There was no choice but to leave them attached for the time being.
Water trickled down from stalactites, and the sound made her achingly aware of how dry her mouth was. She crawled towards the dripping water, opening her mouth and letting droplet after droplet splash across her tongue. Once she’d had her fill, she slowly brought herself up to a standing position, steadying herself on shaky legs and unstable ground.
Upon surveying her surroundings, she began to understand just how peculiar of a location she found herself in. The dim light in the area came from golden, bioluminescent algae that grew in thin strands across the walls and ceilings, making it appear as if sunlight was seeping through small cracks in the walls. The chamber looked to have formed from erosion, though outside of the small drips from the stalactites, no water source could be seen or heard.
The floor of the large room was not rock, but rather a spongy moss that quivered with each step, like a bed sheet pulled across an old, doughy mattress. Stretching strands of thick foliage that looked like kelp grew up and out of the moss, which seemed to serve as a home to whatever unseen critters occasionally brushed against her feet.
Above her head, a few more of the strange chitinous containers hung, their contents hidden from view by an effect that seemed to function like a two-way mirror. They resembled clam shells, though unnaturally large and round. One of the objects made a gurgling sound and rumbled ever so slightly, then stopped. Though she was curious who or what may be contained within, she decided it was probably best not to wait and find out.
There appeared to be only one way out of the area: a large, jagged fissure on the far side of the room that was heavily lined with golden algae. She walked towards it delicately, careful not to slip on the slimy ground beneath her feet. As she grew closer, she could hear a voice faintly echoing through from the other side. It was impossible to make out any words, but the tone was angry, which gave the woman pause. Looking back up at the gurgling mollusk, vibrating and spurting out its foamy contents, she opted to take her chances moving forward.
She crept through the opening, stepping softly and quietly. The fissure led into an extensive hallway that had clearly been carved and widened by tools. The algae spread down the entire length of the hallway, coiling into spiral indentations spaced shoulder-length apart on both sides, illuminating the area more intensely than in the previous chamber. The floor here was firmer as well, with less give as she stepped, no longer feeling like it was composed of living, organic matter. A frustrated voice bounced off the walls.
“Not good, not good, this is all premature!”
She could finally make out what the voice was saying, though it didn’t quell her trepidation. It sounded male, but there was something peculiar about the sound; raspy weathered words that drizzled out of their speaker and hung heavy in the air.
She looked around for a different path, scanning the walls for a sealed door or opening that would allow her to bypass whatever lurked ahead. Without warning, the algae throughout the hallway began to flash rhythmically, picking up pace as if signaling her arrival. After several intervals, the illumination converged in a spot just above her head, increasing in intensity like a spotlight.
“You there!” the voice echoed down the hallway from the other end. Her body tensed and froze and began to instinctively step backward, but the voice called out again.
“I’m talking to you - the only you that isn’t me. Come now, skulking about is poor manners.”
Warily, the woman continued down the rest of the hallway, emerging on the other end into a cavernous pyramid room with walls covered from floor to ceiling in blazing blue algae. The flora appeared to be controlled by some external force; transforming into different shapes and symbols as if conveying information, though she didn’t recognize any of the patterns it formed.
The perimeter was lined with all manner of laboratory-related paraphernalia: Cluttered wooden shelving, tables covered with odd instruments, and massive bubbling vats housing unearthly concoctions that made the whole room reek of putrid fish. Above these vats hung the hollowed-out husks of man-sized shellfish, the likes of which she’d never seen before. The limbs of their exoskeletons were held aloft by wires and tubing that disappeared into slots cut in the stone above, their lifeless forms gently swaying back and forth like limp flags.
In the center of the room sat an immense sphere made of a green mineral like dull malachite. It was etched with different shapes, and within only a moment of looking at it she realized they were land masses; an illustration of the world. The sphere rotated languidly above a gurgling water fountain that sat below. Across the surface of the globe, a band of purple algae was expanding, originating from a small island near the equator.
“You are awake.”
From behind the sphere, a small creature appeared. It was around the size of an adolescent, face hidden behind by a metal mask made to resemble some sort of an insect or crab. There was a grate where the mouth should be, with four long, telescoping objects in the place of eyes.
Its trunk was an unsteady alliance of body parts that had been grafted together without any concern for aesthetics. The abdomen was Callan in origin, though multicolored patches of skin and a single arm considerably longer than the other made it clear bits and pieces had been replaced over time. Below the creature’s dominant arms were four additional pincered extremities, clearly transplanted from the creatures above the vats.
The anthropoid characteristics ended at the waist. Its bottom half was entirely crustacean, with four large multi-jointed appendages set beneath a thick-shelled base. At the nightmarish intersection of these disparate bodies, the creature sported a thick leather belt that hung heavy with tools and an assortment of vials filled with multicolored tinctures.
Around its feet stood an army of insects, crabs, and other tiny bugs gathered like the court of a king, changing direction and stopping their movement in unison with their apparent leader.
“I see you admire my handiwork,” the creature said, noticing the woman’s fixation on his hodgepodge form. “The vessel that brought me into this world was not unlike yours, though its usefulness began to fade ages ago. The extension of life is not without its downsides, especially down here.”
“Who are you?” she asked. “And where is here?”
“I am Drescel, and you are in my clinic...or my laboratory, depending on your state of being,” he said with a hoarse chuckle, motioning an arm and several pincers towards the vats. “But all kidding aside, you are my patient and I’ve been trying to restore you, though clearly you’re not ripe enough, too weak, too raw. Two years was not enough it seems, my calculations well off the mark. Perhaps my brain is in need of refurbishment,”
Drescel scuttled towards the woman, his eyes extended forward to inspect her. The small, strange creature sighed loudly when he noticed her missing arm.
“Apologies, I have not worked on one like you for many years. Your kind normally does not break so easily.”
“My...my kind?” the woman asked, the words raspy and faint.
He titled his head and circled around her scuttling sideways, continuing his inspection.
“Well, who you once were, that is. In this moment, you are barely you, though had we not found you, you’d not be you at all.”
She let out a heavy, frustrated sigh, bringing her hands up to her face. “I don’t understand. Nothing about this makes sense. About how I got here. About who I am…or who I was.”
“That is not important now,” Drescel said bluntly. “Understanding will come with time. My purpose is not to explain. My purpose is to fix, and it appears you are still broken.”
With that, Drescel snapped his fingers and the throng of insects at his feet moved forward and began to crawl up and across her body. The writhing swarm tugged, pinched, and pulled at her until she had backed onto a small patch of raised moss in a far corner of the room. In perfect formation, the mass of bugs broke off into five sections, with four concentrating on restraining her legs and arms while the fifth regiment returned to Drescel.
“What are you doing?” she cried out, deeply unsure about what Drescel meant by fixing.
“The mites need more time to rebuild you; time we do not have. But I have an intermediate solution.”
Drescel raised his hands, fingers wiggling, and the fifth group skittered across the floor towards a shelf lined with rows of opaque jars. They buzzed around a bulbous container at the very end, bodies working together in unison to open the lid, tip it over, and spill its contents onto the floor.
The woman’s eyes widened in fear as the small, gooey ball that had been contained inside the jar began to stir, unraveling into a sprawling, six-legged insect with a short, spiked tail and eyes covering the entire top half of its body.
“Fix our friend, Mr. Liptis!” Drescel shouted with glee, pointing a finger at the woman. The creature appeared to understand, crawling towards her and situating itself just below her missing arm.
Once it had lined itself up, the insect sunk two piercing fangs onto the stump. The woman screamed, fire flowing through the veins from her shoulder into her neck and back before the pain ceased and vanished only a moment later. Next, the insect dug three of its claws deep into the stump of her arm, securing itself in place before extending the tail outwards and driving it up into the humerus. While it didn’t particularly hurt, she could feel uncomfortable pressure as something wriggled up to her shoulder and then stopped inside her collar bone. The three leftover claws squirmed wildly, lengthening to twice their original size before falling limp against the table.
“What are you doing to me?” she called out weakly.
“The liptis is replacing that which you have lost, giving control of itself to you; a helpful parasite! Do not worry, I have most likely fixed the flaw that eventually gives him complete control of your body!”
Drescel clattered towards the woman, poking at the now motionless creature grafted to her arm.
“Ok, it is finished. Please move your hand...your new hand, that is.”
Pushing past apprehension, the woman attempted to move the liptis’ free appendages as if they were her own, but the insect lay lifeless and still. Drescel reached out and smacked the replacement limb with a metal rod he’d pulled from his tool belt.
“Ow!” As she cried out, the new hand instinctively curled into a fist.
“Wonderful!” Drescel exclaimed, his six arms waving with excitement. “It actually worked this time!” With another snap of the fingers, the insects crawled off of the woman’s body and rejoined together at his feet.
“Now then, you will need to take special care of the liptis, and by doing so, you will insure it takes special care of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“The liptis must eat, and its favorite food is magical essence! Simply touching a source of magic, living or otherwise, will allow the liptis to absorb it. This will nourish it and nourish you, maybe even help you grow stronger than before. Here! Try for yourself.”
Drescel pulled one of the vials off his belt and emptied it onto the table near her new hand. She felt the magical essence flow out of the liquid and into the liptis, running up its appendages and then continuing seamlessly throughout her body. As it did, her mind began to clear, the mental fog lifting, memories of who she was beginning to take shape in her mind.
She recalled the last moments of her former life: The battle with the skin-suit monster, the Koans attacking her, the Iso soldier firing his revolver directly into her chest. The events felt like they occurred only yesterday, but Drescel claimed she’d been in his care for two entire years. None of it made sense, though this confusion had become a common theme since waking up in the mollusk shell.
As the woman stood up and stretched, she felt energy gradually return. Ripples moved throughout her body, muscles and tendons pulsing and growing firmer beneath skin that suddenly felt tougher, like chitin-plated armor. For the first time since awakening in the strange subterranean laboratory, she felt strong, capable. But still utterly confused.
“I still have questions,” she said, marching up to the strange scientist with renewed confidence.
“Awwww, you feel better, yes?”
“I do, but my mind is still a tangled mess. Why do you keep referring to who I was?”
“Well, now that’s complicated,” said Drescel, tilting his head back and forth, as if trying to find the right words. “Perhaps showing is better than telling.”
He motioned to his insects and they moved over to a cupboard with two tall doors on either side. The tiny creatures laboriously pulled one of the doors open, revealing a body-length mirror.
“Please, see for yourself.”
The woman walked over with trepidation, stopping when she saw what reflected back. While her body from the neck down was covered in the organic bandages, her face was uncovered, revealing dark brown skin where crimson used to be. Her hair had grown long in the last two years, and while it was stark white at the tips, the color gradually intensified towards the roots into a deep, dark silver. She stumbled back from the mirror, mind seized by memories of a past she had long since forgotten.
“What has happened to me?” she gasped, moving her face away from the mirror and facing Drescel instead.
“A turn of events that were equal parts lucky and unlucky it seems,” said Drescel, scuttling over to the globe and waving a hand across the surface. This caused the sphere to rotate, bringing into focus a region that included Koa.
Drescel had said before that his purpose was not to explain, and he clearly took no joy in the lengthy process of describing to the woman how she had gone from a corpse on Koa to a subject in his lab. To her surprise, Drescel hadn’t found her on Koa at all. Some of his compatriots, a group of local Magi, were investigating strange phenomena that had begun occurring throughout a group of islands far from their present location - energy signals that could only be the result of large concentrations of magical essence. Along the way, a terrible storm forced the group to stop on an island called Gullau, though once they landed they realized that stopping on the island was much more dangerous than simply continuing forward through the punishing rain and winds. On this island a battle was underway between the few surviving tribesmen and strange, otherworldly monsters. As he described the battle - purple smoke and craters and creatures wearing suits of red skin - the woman instantly recognized the scene as what had occurred on Koa. The Magi were eventually able to overcome the monsters, but none of the islanders survived. Sensing traces of magical energy under the island, they discovered an ancient chamber deep underground. Inside they found the remnants of a broken orb and a gravely injured woman.
“You were on the verge of death,” Drescel explained. “Fortunately, my colleagues are incredibly gifted, and had come across your kind before. They knew what to do to stabilize you for the journey back.”
“My kind...are you suggesting there are more like me? I am not the only one?”
Drescel blinked a few times through his telescopic lenses, as if confused.
“Why yes, there are many of your kind. Your former kind, that is. They sought refuge quite close to here, in Lord Hallister’s keep.”
“Hallister? Of the Magi council? But he was exiled to the Outer Rings, to the Vlyk penal colony.” She was quite familiar with the story of Corrilous Hallister, the powerful Magi responsible for an uncontrolled energy storm that wiped a small Capital town off the face of the planet. His exile was a major event, as it marked the beginning of unusually aggressive anti-Magi and Technik laws that saw thousands banished to the far corners of the world.
Vlyk itself had a horrible reputation, even amongst the other islands of the Outer Rings. The island was shrouded in mystery, only discovered within the last hundred years or so and entirely by accident. It took weeks to travel there by conventional means, and even then, turbulent, stormy waters and rumors of sea beasts made the journey an almost certain death wish unless you traveled in the most fortified Capital vessels. It was the island where the worst offenders were sent, presumably so that the Central Islands could keep track of them easier, though many suspected it was in hopes that those imprisoned there would simply kill each other off.
Drescel nodded his head, “Yes, here. We are in Vlyk...or below it rather. I don’t go to the surface much anymore. Even I am too strange for this land, and that’s saying a lot.”
Overwhelmed by the rapid influx of information, the woman sat down on the ground, rubbing at the small wounds around the liptis which had already begun to heal.
“My powers were already fading before I was attacked and killed, and I do not know why. But this transformation - this complete reversal of my powers - it makes no sense.”
Drescel looked at her sympathetically.
“Hallister believes you were in a state of regeneration, the orb a conduit of some divine power. Had you remained in the chamber, perhaps your powers would have returned with your life force. But when my associates arrived, the orb was shattered. The process had been interrupted. It is good they found you when they did, though. With the orb destroyed, Gullau is a column now.”
“The shell I woke up in, the liptis...can they restore me completely?”
Drescel crossed his arms, seemingly frustrated by his own misplaced shortcomings. “The foam can fix your body and the liptis will keep you safe in the short term, but I do not have the means to make you whole. Not in the way you were before. The Touched are complicated beings.”
The woman stared down at her body, wondering if it would even be recognizable once the organic bandages were removed. Was it even possible to regain her powers? And if so, did she have the strength and wherewithal to get them back? She hadn’t lasted a day without her powers before dying on Koa, so what were her chances now? Regardless, she’d still be dead if not for Drescel and his Magi friends, not to mention whoever had brought her to that orb chamber on Gullau in the first place. Her continued survival was too improbable to be accidental, and this gave her faith that her existence still had meaning.
“My apologies,” she said, breaking a prolonged silence. “I haven’t thanked you for what you’ve done for me. Your skills are unlike anything I’ve ever seen. Are you from Vlyk, or were you banished here like the others?”
She could tell the question ruffled Drescel’s feathers a bit, but he quickly regained his composure. He clearly wasn’t any more comfortable telling stories about himself, so he curtly but efficiently informed her that he used to work for the Capital military as a scientist and doctor, tasked with finding ways to keep the elite members of the Isorropia unit alive and well. He’d created different serums and treatments that ensured success rates were high and casualties were low, so he was well respected by the council. At least, until he discovered a way to bring back the recently deceased, which caught the ire of certain superiors and ended with him being exiled to the Outer Rings like so many of his peers.
“The thing is,” he said, pacing back and forth, “I was merely following orders and still got punished. The laws never made sense, abided by some and ignored by others. Oh well. Things are better here.” He paused for a moment and looked her over. “Now that we are so well acquainted and I have told you things about myself I have not spoken aloud in years, it seems I should use a more proper name for you than ‘Subject R39.’ What should I call you? Seems odd to make friends without names.”
In her long, reclusive life, revealing her given name was almost never necessary, so she simply chose not to. In response, most people who had contact with her derived monikers from her physical characteristics or gifts, like how the Koans had twisted the Aquine term for her to Untouched, which she was never quite sure was an exaltation or an insult. In her current state with the liptis, she decided she’d prefer something other than bug woman.
“I was once called Elinea.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Elinea. Now then, I believe that is all of the explaining I have in me today, and there is much more fixing to which I must presently attend. I believe Lord Hallister is much better equipped for explaining than I. You should go see him now - he can help you with your next steps, whatever you decide those to be. Oh and before you leave, please take these.”
He pulled out a map, a dark hooded cloak, and a glove that resembled black velvet and handed them to her.
“There are a lot of Magi above us. Some you may not want to drain, and some who definitely deserve it. Keep this on the liptis until you can differentiate the two.”
Elinea took the glove and put it over her new hand, then pulled the cloak across her shoulders and tied it in place. The liptis fingers moved deftly, and though there were only three of them, the knot was secured and in place without her having to think twice about the movements.
“I appreciate your help, regardless of the lack of convention,” she smiled. “Anything else I should know before setting off?”
Drescel thought for a moment. “Stay out of the Gray Wood and keep your arms locked tight against your body. Hallister will guide you from there.”
“Arms locked against my--?”
Before she could finish her sentence, a narrow chute opened above her head. A moment later, she was enveloped by the insect swarm and flown upwards through the tiny passageway, moving so quickly the ascent made her eyes water.
After several long, deep breaths to keep her composure, Elinea found herself on the surface of Vlyk, the swarm depositing her on a rock outcropping overlooking the sea. There was a storm brewing off in the distance but the sun shone brightly above, its light giving the world an orangish hue like a room lit with a colored bulb. Squinting her eyes, she realized there was a perfectly round boundary separating the skies and extending across the entire island, as if a barrier was holding back the inclement weather.
The coast itself was barren and devoid of plant life, a craggy shoreline stretching far and wide. There was no harbor, no boats - and therefore no prospect of escape without help from the island’s inhabitants.
Elinea moved up a path towards the top of the outcropping to where she believed she could get a better vantage point and orient herself to Vlyk. As she walked, she began to feel hunger, though the sensation emanated not from her stomach, but from the liptis attached to her arm. She wondered just how much more her physiology would change due to her interaction with Drescel. He’d pushed her out the door so quickly that she’d barely had the time to collect her thoughts and inquire further into the utility of her new symbiotic companion. For now, she’d have to stifle any suspicions she held about the strange appendage, as the ambiguity of her journey and general unease of being on Vlyk was all her freshly-awoken mind could cope with.
The mountainous terrain she’d seen at the shore encircled the entire island, a wall of stone birthed millions of years in the past. Were these peaks simply metaphors of Vlyk’s future role as an internment center, or the explicit reason it had been chosen for that purpose? Jagged, steep slopes made traversing down to the valley below difficult and dangerous, until she spotted a roughly-hewn path not far in the distance.
A flock of flying beasts the size of cattle circled a massive nest bulging from the side of a lofty peak to the east. She stopped and watched in awe, mouth falling agape as the nest began to move and then unfurled two immense wings, revealing a monstrous animal with a caninoid face, each of its teeth the length of her entire body.
Down in the valley, a dark forest stretched for as far as she could see. Most of the trees appeared dead or dying, their leaves and branches gone, bark gray like ash. Perhaps a blight had struck the island, though not all the trees had been affected. A swath of the forest looked very much alive, the trees green, dense, and growing well above their deteriorating counterparts. It was clearly not a natural occurrence, as the flourishing area formed a narrow path from the edge of the woods to a perfectly circular area in the middle. Here, the vegetation was far more abundant, the decay pushed to the far edge of the grand forest.
She looked down at the map, which was drawn with little finesse, and determined that the peculiar region of woods must be where Hallister’s refuge was located. All she needed to do was make her way through the valley below and then follow the path to the center.
Elinea took a few deep breaths and began her descent, the sounds of the forest growing in intensity as she ventured forward. Though she had felt invigorated by the magical essence Drescel had fed the liptis in his lab, her body was stiff and aching now, muscles crying out after two years dormant in the shell. After a long and slow decline she finally reached the bottom, the green path to the center of the forest lying ahead.
Just as Elinea’s foot met the soft grass of the valley, a sudden silence seized the area. A faint sound steadily grew from ahead of her, a sound she soon recognized as the playful giggling of a child. As it grew in volume, the sound was joined by another, and then another, until a chorus of maniacal laughter had erupted around her. She held her hands to her ears, the sound reaching to a deafening level. As if in response, the liptis began to twitch violently, its talons clenching and unclenching involuntarily, either alerting her of danger ahead...or perhaps a meal.
The fevered pitch of the laughter was met and then drowned out by an overwhelmingly intense desire that flowed from her hand and continued throughout her body. With the liptis’ hunger pangs overtaking her senses, Elinea stepped forward into the dark wood, an animalistic fervor swiftly building inside of her.
Fate Index:
1. Antagonist gains great power
2. Character loses a limb and has it replaced with an unexpected alternative
3. Protagonist has/develops some incurable urge they must sate daily
4. Protagonist has great power but loses it
5. Protagonist’s identity is thrown into question
6. Flashback episode
7. A utopian world is described or created by an adolescent
8. Protagonist joins or befriends powerful creature
9. A great artifact of the past is found, calling to a new owner
10. Something consequential turns out to be an illusion
11. Shrek and Donkey cameo
12. Betrayal
13. Protagonist finds powerful item or treasure
14. Magic finger traps, but for the brain or heart
15. Millions of insects start their march to devour everything in their path
16. Goonie squad
17. Protagonist takes up cause of beleaguered
18. Super intelligent magical infant
19. Protagonist becomes famous
20. Ancient deity decides to walk the mortal realms
Outcomes Used:
2. Character loses a limb and has it replaced with an unexpected alternative
4. Protagonist has great power but loses it
Added outcomes:
Protagonist’s hangover leads to some incredibly fortuitous turn of events
(thanks to @irunindy on Twitter)
Unknown blind wanderer somehow related to a protagonist enters the story
(thanks to @selective_stimulus on Instagram)
